How to make every wedding outstanding

IT MAY BE TRUE TO some extent that couples choose a church wedding because the building happens to be a pretty one. However, research shows that there is a spiritual seriousness underlying any superficial desire for a nice backdrop for the photos – there are many more alternative choices for that nowadays, so why would couples choose a church?

Why couples choose a church wedding

Couples come for a church wedding for what it uniquely offers:

• The venue – the ancient, holy and spiritual ambience of a church gives the occasion gravitas. For such a special day, couples want a special place. It’s more than how it looks.
• The vows – they are unique, they include God and have remained the same for centuries. This is a key reason why many couples choose a church wedding.
• The vicar – the personal attention and support of the vicar defines a church wedding. He or she may know the couple for several years after the wedding and watch their family grow. They may even baptize their babies. The relationship with the vicar is vitally important to the couple, especially in the time leading up to the wedding and on the day itself.
• Always there – no other wedding venue can promise to remain available to a couple long after the wedding day.

Care that makes an impact

Research also revealed that the way we care for couples in the weeks before and on the day of the wedding helps to build a relationship between the couple and the church that has the potential to last:

A personalised service, a warm welcome and showing an interest in the couple as people strongly influences whether they will return to church after the wedding.

• As well as helping them with their choices of music, hymns, prayers and readings, get to know their interests, hobbies, the things that are most important to them. Deliver a sermon that reflects some of those things and they’ll be delighted.
• Treating the wedding guests well is also important. Keep announcements at the start of the wedding positive and minimal (and, if possible, do them before the arrival of the bride!). Instead of reeling off a list of ‘Don’t do’ rules, tell guests: ‘You can….throw confetti/take photos/switch your mobiles back on after the service’.

Capturing memories

Filming and taking pictures on special occasions and sharing these special moments with wider family and friends is second nature to young couples. More often than not, they’ll do this on social networking sites.

Although you have discretion on photography and filming, it will make the couple and their guests feel more welcome and cared for if you can be as flexible as possible. It will also showcase the church as a wonderful option for weddings to all their contacts.

It is also worth remembering that the couple will watch their wedding film time and again over the years. It’s a great way for them to relive that day, including the promises they made to each other. In a sense, the wedding video has a marriage care advantage.

So welcome their photographer and videographer too. The wedding rehearsal is an ideal time to agree on photo and filming moments you’re all happy with.

Ideas tried and tested

These are a few ideas for personal touches at weddings that have been tried in parishes:

Helpful resources

The Wedding Keepsake Card is designed to be given to marrying couples by churches as a memento of their wedding day. It provides space for recording the couple’s names and the location and date of the wedding, and includes a prayer of blessing. Please note this is not an official marriage certificate.