The warmth of our welcome matters at life’s big moments

LIFE EVENTS SERVICES BRING THOUSANDS of new contacts to the Church of England every week, many of whom will have limited experience of church.

Since 2007, the Archbishops’ Council has invested in rigorous, independent research to find out what people really think about involving a church in life’s big moments – the times when a new child arrives in a family, when a couple gets married and when someone dies.

One of the key things that people value more than anything else from their vicar and from their church, is warmth and welcome. It is the church’s welcome that will most encourage people to return to church, and to develop their faith and trust in God.

Not surprisingly, a lack of feeling welcome is the experience most likely to drive them away. Not only are those people likely to be lost to the church forever, but their experience is also likely to be shared with others, propagating myths about the church’s attitudes, not just for the one church where the poor experience happened, but for all churches.

The handful of ideas given below are simple examples of how a church can extend a warm welcome as part of their mission and ministry to new contacts, especially those made through Life Events.

Take photos of the couple on the day they book their wedding

“I take a photo of the couple when they have signed their banns application form. I insert the photo into the form and email it to the couple. This means they have a record of the day they booked their wedding – they love that and it is part of our welcome.

“It also helps us to remember who they are, as well as helping other clergy in the team when weddings are taken by others. We don’t use the photo anywhere else unless the couple gives permission.”

Idea sent in by the Revd Jane Natrass

Extend a welcome children as well as adults

• How to welcome more families at Harvest
• How to help children feel welcome at weddings
• How to welcome families to church for Mothering Sunday

Come to afternoon tea – just because

Repeated invitation helps families become more involved with their local church. Be ready to host events during school holidays when families will be actively looking for something to do.

An afternoon tea for families with recently baptized children is a very simple idea. Host it outdoors if the weather is good and if space permits, or in the church hall or church if the weather’s not so good.

A few tables and chairs, toys to play with, tea/coffee, lots of squash/water and some jam scones will be loved by most and will bring local families together. It’s also a great opportunity for people in the church to get to know families better, build relationships and invite them back to another event or service.

You might like to include prayer in light-touch ways, for example a prayer slip left on each table with some simple words on: “Thank you God for food, and family, and friends. Amen”.

A way to care for your local funeral director

“While it’s common for funeral directors to show their appreciation of those who officiate at funerals with Christmas cards, calendars and other gifts, there might be merit in taking some Easter eggs to your funeral directors in Holy Week or Easter. It’s unexpected, it shows you care, and it reminds everyone that the church has much to say about death and resurrection.”

Sent in by the Revd Charles Chadwick, Parish Development Adviser in the Diocese of Oxford

Blue Christmas

“We tried out the Blue Christmas idea and liturgy suggested by Mary Hawes. It was hugely powerful as a space for quiet and grief-sharing – not just for those who were bereaved, but for people carrying any kind of burden which they wanted to acknowledge before the Christmas festivities really got going.

“In addition to lighting a candle as Mary had suggested, at the end of the service people hung a star on our Christmas tree with a prayer or the name of a person on their heart on it. This provided a powerful ‘leavesake’ to give to God as we left.”

Idea tried and tested by a Team Rector in the Diocese of Oxford